


Accomplishing a mission

by Aragorn_II_Elessar



Category: Arrow (TV 2012), Mission: Impossible (Movies)
Genre: Arrowverse is pathetic, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Ethan Hunt is awesome, Fluff and Crack, Gen, Jokes, Not for Kate Kane fans, Not for those who think Arrowverse is still good, Parody, and dead, not for Olicity fans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:47:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23377123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aragorn_II_Elessar/pseuds/Aragorn_II_Elessar
Summary: Ethan Hunt and his IMF team are given a new mission- exposing the stupidity of the showrunners of the CW Arrowverse. This is the short and daring tale of how they accomplish it. Crack fic.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	Accomplishing a mission

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Stand_with_Ward_and_Queen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stand_with_Ward_and_Queen/gifts), [Phillipe363](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phillipe363/gifts), [Bl4ckHunter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bl4ckHunter/gifts).



> Disclaimer: I do not own Mission: Impossible, Arrowverse, or anything else you may recognize and this is meant in no way to offend anyone.
> 
> Just a hilarious idea I got from Chaos Sorcerer, so thank you to him.
> 
> And I hope everyone enjoys this.

Ethan Hunt, the IMF's most successful agent to date, was rock climbing after years. After the entire business with August Walker, Solomon Lane and his ex-wife Julia at the Himalayas, he needed a break.

And well, his mind was also wondering if it would ever work out with Ilsa Faust, as the attraction was obvious for everyone to see, even Julia.

With those thoughts in mind, Ethan reached the top of the cliff and sighed in relief, feeling victorious when he saw a helicopter in the air.

A missile was fired and it hit the ground as Ethan shook his head in amusement, getting flashbacks to 2002, when he and Nyah had gone up against Sean Ambrose.

Walking closer, he kneeled down and took off the tail of the rocket as he found the glasses. He shook his head in amusement again before wearing them.

The voice of Secretary Christopher McQuarrie spoke-

" _Good morning, Agent Hunt. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, involves the TV Network known as CW. Based on the content they are showing these days, especially on Arrowverse, we have strong suspicions the people behind it are very idiotic SJWs, who only care about toxic ships and political propaganda. Should you choose to accept this mission, you have to somehow get into contact with the biggest showrunners of Arrowverse, and trick them into exposing themselves, which will then be put on the Internet. You can choose any team you like for assistance, and should your or any of your team be caught, you will be disavowed and all knowledge of your actions will be denied. And Mr. Hunt, in your old age, you have become a little predictable. Next time you're on vacation, please be good enough to change your vacation spot so we have an easier time tracking you, as we think you choose new spots all the time."_

Then an automated voice said. " _This message will self-destruct in 5 seconds._ "

"If I chose a new spot", Ethan said as he took off the glasses. "It'd be easier to find me."

He then took off the glasses and threw them away as they exploded behind him.

_Mission: Impossible soundtrack plays_

* * *

Later, a safehouse

Ethan, Benji, Luther and Brandt all sat together as Benji pulled up photos of Marc Guggenheim, Wendy Mericle, Beth Schwartz and Greg Berlanti on the screens.

"There was Andrew Kreisberg too, but they fired him due to sexual allegations", Ethan said.

"Which is why people are under the delusion that these people are better writers than him due to not being sexual predators", Brandt said. "But I do not think that establishes how you write."

"Damn right, my man", Luther said in agreement.

"So, what is the plan?" Benji asked them.

"Well, I do have one in mind", Ethan smirked.

"As expected", Brandt smirked.

* * *

Marc Guggenheim was walking down the street, trying to reach the studio. He decided to take an alley. During this time, he was reading Olicity fanfiction on his phone, not paying attention to his surroundings.

That was when he felt a syringe hit his neck from the side and passed out as Brandt looked down on him.

* * *

CW Studios

Another Marc Guggenheim entered the studios, looking around a little nervously. He wasn't nervous due to the mission, but because he was in the lair of the stupidest gobshites on the planet, and he was so smart that it might make him stand out.

He went into the conference room, where Greg, Beth and Wendy were already in deep conversation.

"Ah, Marc", Greg said with a smile as 'Marc' nodded and sat down. "We were waiting for you."

"So, what was being discussed?" 'Marc' asked.

"Well, Beth was just telling me you have a plan for an Olicity ending", Greg said. "I'd like to hear it."

"Oh first, I want to hear some ideas for Batwoman and the Crisis please", 'Marc' said. "Then I will tell you."

"Fair enough", Wendy shrugged.

'Marc' pressed a recorder disguised as the button of his sleeve as Greg started speaking. "So, on Batwoman, Kate is going to let Alice go again, and Luke will tell her she's a hero because she's letting Alice walk free, unlike Batman who always had to stick Joker in a prison, making him a monster-"

"Like Oliver and all other man-scum", Beth added and Greg nodded.

* * *

Safehouse

The real Marc woke up as he groaned, only to get punched on the face hard as his nose broke and he screamed in pain.

"What?" He groaned as Brandt grasped his shoulders tightly.

"Now you are gonna tell me the plans for your Olicity ending", Brandt growled at him.

"No!" Marc said. "I won't! It has to be a surprise! You will spoil it!"

"Who do you think I am? Tom Holland?" Brandt asked as Marc groaned, only to get slapped, making his head turn the other way.

"Tell me!" Brandt said.

* * *

CW Studios

"So yes, Kevin Conroy's evil Batman will be defeated by one kick from the heroic Kate, who is obviously a Paragon, due to letting Alice go", Greg said. "And Routh's Superman will be replaced by Lex, and the last Paragon will be Ryan Choi, a random person no one has heard of till now."

"All right", 'Marc' nodded, trying not to show the disgust on his face. What Greg had finished saying was bad enough, not to mention their plans for Oliver and Smallville.

"Now Marc, about the Olicity ending", Greg said and 'Marc' sweated a little.

"I am just about to tell you", 'Marc' said.

* * *

Safehouse

"You know what?" Brandt asked as Marc looked at him. "We have a program called the God's Eye. And it is a dangerous one. It can do whatever we want. And….."

Marc was absorbed as Brandt said. "My friends will use it to block you from every single Olicity fanfiction on the Internet."

"NOOOOOOOOOO!" Marc screamed, finally breaking as he said. "All right, this is my Olicity ending."

And he told it to Brandt, who was disgusted.

* * *

CW Studios

'Marc' listened what Marc had told Brandt and finally sighed in relief before saying, trying to mask the obvious disgust in his voice. "So the ending will be a continuation of the scene from 7x22. Felicity will reunite with Oliver, even though this timeline has been erased, and we will show the flashback scene from 3x14, where Oliver first met Felicity. Okay, not met, but saw her."

"Oh my God!" Greg said, his eyes wide in joy as he actually got up from his chair and hugged 'Marc'. "That is a fantastic plan."

'Marc' could only groan in disgust.

* * *

Later, safehouse

'Marc' returned to see Brandt, Luther and Benji waiting for him. He quickly ripped off his mask to reveal the face of Ethan Hunt.

"Where's the real one?" Ethan asked.

"Gave him something that will make him forget this and wake up tomorrow with no memory of what happened", Brandt said.

"And did you get what I recorded?" Ethan asked.

"Oh we did", Luther said.

Taking out his tablet, Benji said. "And…..its trending."

"Mission accomplished", Ethan said as all smirked.

* * *

And soon enough, by the end of the day, Twitter, Facebook, YouTube and even Instagram were swarmed with comments from disgusted fans.

" _So the ending is set in an erased timeline? Okay, what is this shit?#Noncannonending_ "

" _Conroy's Batman is evil and Kate, who is a Paragon, beats him with one kick? Are these gobshites serious?_ "

" _Oliver charges opponents without his bow? But he's supposed to be smart. #NotmyOliver_ "

" _Kate is a hero…because she lets a bad guy walk free, endangering innocents? What are the writers smoaking? #Arrowverseisdead"_

" _Tom Welling's Superman is retired and doesn't help out even though he knows of the Multiverse. #SmallvillestillthebestDCshow"_

" _The Anti-Monitor returns in spite of Oliver having beaten him earlier? It's like if in Endgame Tony snapped his fingers and died and five minutes later, it was revealed Thanos and his army are still alive. #CrisisispoorlydoneInfinityWarEndgame #Arrowverseispoorman'sMCU"_

" _What is it with these writers and their BB? #BeeboBoner"_

And thus, the head of the CW studios had to fire the idiotic gobshites and hire younger writers who wrote fanfiction for Arrowverse, and legitimately good fanfiction which looked like logical storylines in the show, and not contrived drama.

These writers retconned Arrow Season 6 onwards, retconned Flash Season 4 onwards, retconned Supergirl Season 3 onwards, and just ended Legends of Tomorrow, with Batwoman never existing, and two years later fans actually got the Crisis on Infinite Earths they deserved, which was worth the wait.

**Author's Note:**

> And Ethan and his team have accomplished another mission with their awesomeness.
> 
> And while M:I II is my least favorite film in the franchise, its opening with Ethan is definitely my favorite.
> 
> And I know God's Eye is from Fast and Furious but it worked for this.
> 
> Hope everyone enjoyed and see you all next time with another update. Until then, stay safe from the coronavirus ya all!


End file.
